what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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