hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
