WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's shark week go big or go home
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
