Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
