just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
