i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
