here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
