Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
