elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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