We're facebook friends in real life
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
