Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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