Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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