...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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