Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
