It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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