just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
