there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize