She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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