Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
