My brain says no but my pants say off.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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