the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
