she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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