Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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