fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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