I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We got so high we made milksteak
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
