Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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