I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
