this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
