I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
