hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
