Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
No subtext here. People are naked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
