I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize