why didn't you poke me back
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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