well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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