Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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