I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
