with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
