ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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