The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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