Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
