please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
