Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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