your room smells of hookers.
And success
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Holy shit dude........stairs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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