M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
