Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
