How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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