You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
