So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
