puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize