I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I need a beard to bite.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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