worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize