I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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