It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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