69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize