I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize