i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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