today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
